Jewish High Holy Days - Atonement and Forgiveness

This week we talked about more Jewish Holidays, specifically about the High Holy days. High Holy days happen during the month of the Jewish New Year, September. The High Holy days start with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year; then comes Yom Kippur, the day of atonement; then followed by Sukkot, which commemorates the 40 years of wandering in the desert living in temporary shelters.

We learned about the month of Elul which is the month of preparation before the High Holidays. We also learned the ten day period between Rosh Hashanah is called aseret yemei teshuvah. The first night of Yom Kippur is kol nidre.

We talked about the major concepts, prayers, readings and rituals for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah literally means head of the new year. Like the American New Year, the Jewish New Year is also a time to reflect on the past year's events and changes, and making plans for new changes in the coming year. The New Year is like is not to be spent working, like Shabbat. The rituals are a bit different than Shabbat to have different meanings. People traditionally eat sweet foods to represent the sweetness of the New Year such as apples, honey and pomegranate. Rosh Hashanah is two days followed by Yom Kippur 7 days later.

Yom Kippur

It is said that the Book Of Life opens on Rosh Hashanah and closes on Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is another fasting holiday that starts at sundown the night before and ends at the next sundown. It is known as the day of atonement, and it's core concept being teshuvah which means repentance. It is also centered around bein adam l'makom (sins with God) and bein adam l'havero (sins with others). Teshuva is only to atone for sins between people and God. An example would be eating a forbidden food or working on Shabbat. Sins between  human beings must be forgiven between the two people.

This is a really interesting concept to me because I was always taught praying for your sins is what you needed to do to be forgiven. In typical Jewish fashion, we began to tear about the translations of teshuvah, known as the Laws of Teshuva from the Mishneh Torah.

Laws of Teshuvah

The laws come from the Mishneh Torah which is the code of the religious Jewish law, one part of the Talmud. We read some very insightful text from the Mishneh Torah.

What is complete teshuvah? A person who confronts the same situation in which he sinned when he has the potential to commit the sin again, and, nevertheless, refrains and does not commit it because he has resolved to live differently and not because he is being watched or is physically unable.

I loved this one because it really makes you accountable, and forces you to face your problems head on. It's important message of change.

It is forbidden for a person to be cruel and refuse to be appeased. Rather, one should, be easily pacified, but hard to anger. When the person who wronged you asks for forgiveness, you should forgive him with a complete heart and a willing spirit. Even if he aggravated or wronged you severely, he should not seek revenge or bear a grudge.

I also really loved this one because it teaches you the importance of forgiving (for most things) and moving on. No matter how mad you are and no matter your excuses, it is always better to forgive and move on. Judaism understands this, while it is very hard for us to actually carry out this practice.

It is also said that the one seeking amends should try 3 times with the other person. However, if after 3 times the one who was wronged does not accept the apology; then it also becomes their problem. Another twist to this lesson makes it even more interesting. It brings in the dynamic of both parties because Judaism, again, understands that it takes two to right a wrong.

Talmud - The Oral Torah

Talmud

This week we talked about the Talmud, which may be explained as the compilation of the Torah's oral law and the commentary of that oral law. These two things are called the Mishnah (the first compilation of the oral law) and the Gemara (the explanation of the Mishnah) - together they make the Talmud. It is also referred to as Rabbinic Judaism, second to the Torah. My boyfriend doesn't even remember this, do I just had to explain it to him. Geeez.

Here's where my lack of historical knowledge comes in, and I'll just repeat what I read and what I was told:

The beginnings of the Talmud began with the Jewish uprising from the Romans around 70 C.E. When the Jews lost all control of worship in Temples, they turned to making Judaism centered on the study & prayer without the need of a Temple. I believe this is another example of why Judaism has been around for so long, and why the Dalai Llama reached out to the Jewish people for advice.

In a more modern sense, one the reasons for the Talmud is that one cannot literally live biblically; thus we must use the oral interpretation to further guide us through the intricacies of the Torah and life. However, the historic reason the Talmud came to be was out of a need for spiritual survival. When the Romans destroyed the Temples of worship, which were the focus for the Jewish religion, they changed their focus to be about Jewish studies instead. For some, modern Judaism is primarily lived via practice of the Talmud and not biblical.

Written Torah

The written Torah is what may be referred to as "half of the story" and the other half being the oral Torah. I've begun to notice more often that a lot of Jews disagree with one another, and that must be why we discuss the interpretations and oral portion of the Torah. To give you an idea of just how much Jews disagree, 50 of 5,000 debates between Rabbi's ended in an agreement. These debates are known as Makhloket, the first post modern literature on rabbinical debates - oh what fun! I think what enhances people's belief is being able to hear all sides to a story. While doing research, I found this book that seems like a great read to help us understand the major disputes in Judaism: Judaism's Great Debates: Timeless Controversies from Abraham to Herzl.

The author Barry Schwartz states that healthy arguments are at the core of Judaism, and Judaism is made up of unresolved arguments rather than resolved. Although I find a lot of answers throughout my journey, there are also a lot of times I am left with no answer. When I asked my Jewish friend about G-d's existence, he asked why did I want an answer, and said so many people are concerned with wanting that question answered. For him, he's content with knowing there is a higher being based on the and doesn't need to question the Torah.

Oral Torah

The other part to the Talmud are the important traditions we've learned from the oral interpretations of the Torah. Surprisingly, the written Torah does not mention traditions such as what to do on Shabbat like the use of challah bread. These traditions have come from aggadah; the stories, traditions, spirituality and legends. The oral Torah is the "other half" to Jewish law. This is the interpretive tradition that contains the 200+ laws that include animal sacrifices and the Shabbat traditions.

What I like about Judaism is that no one is ever satisfied with complacency. I don't think it's that people questioned the religion because they thought it was wrong, rather they wanted to enhance their understanding. Thus when their Temples were destroyed they sought out more answers to enhance their Judaism life. I wonder what would've happened if the Temples were not destroyed and Rabbinic Judaism did not become so important. Would there not be so many of the traditions we love like challah bread and the peacefulness of Shabbat?

Passover - The Master Story

Today we had a mock Passover Seder at the University. I had my first Passover with my love this year and it was quite overwhelming with a bunch of Israelis that rarely spoke English. I was simply an observer and had no idea what was going on. In class we talked about the spring cleaning before Passover, what is included on the Seder table, and the traditional story passed down from the Passover Master Story. Passover is one of the most commonly celebrated Jewish holidays. It is said that about 85% of Jews celebrate Passover, 50% celebrate the High Holy Days and 25% celebrate Shabbat.

The Master Story

With that statistic in mind, Passover is said to be one of the most important holidays because it passes down one of the most important traditions known to Judaism which came from the Exodus. It is of the utmost importance to remember the freedom from slavery. From the Haggadah, it is said that "In every generation, each person is obligated to see/show themselves as though they personally came out of Egypt".

The same way we learn behavioral quirks and habits from our parents is the same way children in Jewish families are taught this ritual. It's no wonder so many Jewish people celebrate this holiday ritually more than others. We also discussed why and the outcome of the Dalai Lama searching out Jew's advice on the secret for surviving in exile. He admired the long lasting traditional aspect of Judaism, and became very interested after he went into exile from the Communist takeover. In short, the Rabbis who attended this meeting with the Dalai Llama explained that keeping tradition and the story of the Torah alive is what has allowed Judaism to live on so prevalantly for so many lifetimes.

Then we talked about 3 metaphors for the Passover traditions:

Wherever you are; it’s probably Egypt.

Although we may not notice the oppression, the world and our lives are never perfect.

There is a better place, a world more attractive, a Promised Land.

We talked about these metaphors meaning that just as God promised the Israelites a land, we can always make ours better. Comfortableness and predictability makes us complacent. The only way to this Promised Land is through the wilderness. There is no way to get there except by joining together and marching. Life is better when we work together, but that does not mean it will be easy.

Passover Food Prohibition 

I learned that because the Israelites did not have enough time to wait for the bread to rise, hametz is a food prohibition, and for Ashkenazi Jews neither is kitniyot. Hametz is anything with yeast in it or that rises such as wheat, barely, oats, rye and spelt. Kitniyot are not grains, but look like grains like rice, corn, legumes and soy. Because touching, seeing, and eating hametz (and kitniyot for some) is completely prohibited there are cleaning rules. 

Passover Spring Cleaning 

It can’t be a coincidence that Passover is during Spring cleaning because there is a whole set of rules for spiritual spring cleaning. This is the time to Jews get OCD on cleaning. From what I hear and read about it, it is not a pleasant experience. The rule for cleaning is: the way it goes in is the way it goes out. This means if you boil with it you clean it with boiled water; if you bake it then you bake it to clean it. Metal and glass pots and pans, and utensils are cleaned with boiling water. Baking dishes and grills are cleaned by being baked. Countertops, ovens and other spaces are cleaned with boiling water. Some items cannot be cleaned at all for Passover like a toaster; thus they are simply put away or given away. I remember throwing away all of the wheat products in the apartment last year, but since we didn't have Passover at our place -- I think that's about all we did. We'll see how next year goes when I'm more observant. 

Passover Seder Table 

Everything on the table is symbolic in order to immerse yourself in the tradition and never forget the story of freedom; the story of the weak overcoming the strong. The food on the Seder plate represents the act of enslavement, the bitterness, the sacrifices made, the renewal, and the freshness of a new start. Some other things I had never heard about were Elijah's and Miriam's cup. In short, Elijah was a prophet who did not exactly die in the same terms we're used to seeing, but he was miraculously lifted into the heavens. His cup is traditionally set out and filled with wine and a door opened so that he can join the Seder. He is linked to rescue and announcing of the Messiah; thus his prevalence in this holiday as well as others. Miriam's cup is used for somewhat of the same nature: to invite a well respected individual to the celebration of freedom. She was the sister of Moses and her cup is filled with water to represent the mysterious well that followed the Israelites through the desert, as well as the spirit and support of women.

Does God Really Exist - To Believe or Not To Believe?

G-d's Existence

I have found myself wondering if G-d really does exist a few times throughout my life, but for whatever reason it was never an important thought I needed to have. I would never be able to find out and what would I do with the information anyway? It seemed meaningless to my life, and at the time it was. Belief and existence wasn't shaping my behavior. What I'm learning now - which isn't true for everyone - is that Judaism is more about doing than actually believing.

This is what I can relate to, because I felt like believing in G-d's existence was a way out of dealing with real life. I felt like I was accountable to myself and no one else. This is still true for me today, but I'm realizing that maybe the reason to believe is the same reason I denied it -- holding myself accountable to my obligations and actions.

Today my boyfriend joined me in class because we had a support group to attend afterwards. The support group is a separate topic so I'll touch on that in another post. My epiphany today was that I can connect with Judaism and believe in whatever way that I want and is meaningful to me. That's all that matters anyway. Before I met my boyfriend I felt like I needed some sort of additional and spiritual obligation to myself to have a happier life. I was not happy. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and I still wasn't happy with my decisions. I needed guidance and I think I found it with Judaism. I was afraid I was going to have to drop all of my personal moral and ethical beliefs, and exchange it  for what Jews believe because G-d said so. Fortunately, I already shared many of the same beliefs as I've been learning about.

What's more important to me is WHY we choose to do things in our every day life and why we habitually celebrate holidays. I like the comfort of knowing I don't have to believe or center my beliefs around G-d's existence. I was also shocked to learn about Jewish Atheism. Who would have thought of that? Definitely not me!

Jewish Atheism

It's been awhile since I've heard atheist reasoning from someone, but what I do remember is that some atheists feel like they can only trust science and nature and facts - which I understand and surprisingly others in my class feel the same way.

On the other hand, I've been hearing the same counter argument from the believers which is science and facts and nature wouldn't even exist without it's creation from G-d. I say to each his own and at the same time enjoy hearing how different we all are. That's what I like most about my conversion is that I do not have to believe what everyone else believes, which was one of my biggest fears of religion.

Names of G-d

We also did a great exercise that I loved and helped me understand the ways in which I personally connect to Judaism. We had a list of 60 of G-d's names and the translations of the names. Then noted 5 names we were comfortable with or were meaningful to us; then chose another 5 that we were not comfortable with; then a final 5 that surprised us or that we didn't understand. I found that I don't like terrifying or family references. I don't like thinking of G-d as scary or a loving parental figure, but I do like creation, reliability and guidance references. And finally, I was confused by "the place" and "nothing" references. I know this has something to do with the mystical aspects of Judaism and the Kabbalah, and that G-d is not human and does not exactly "exist" in time as we know it. That is too deep of a topic for me  to get into so I'll stop now. In fact, it is said that humans are not even ready to study this until a certain age because it is just too confusing and frightening.

Jewish Life With Prayer

Life with Prayer

This week we reviewed more about holidays and focused on what life is like in a synagogue and how the prayers work. Again, part of conversion requires you to live and practice Judaism. It may be conservative, but the program encourages you to get involved as much as possible.

My Shabbat this week was okay, but not perfect. We did, however, have a Shabbat dinner with Jewish friends, which we don't do all the time. Then on Saturday we stayed home to pack (for an upcoming move), we played music, and before Shabbat was over I used my cell phone for Words with Friends....and I blogged.....I'm getting there.

For this week's class we spent the second half of the day in the synagogue at the University. Since this is a new experience for most of the the class we talked a little about things like the dress code, rituals and prayers. The dress code for women includes keeping shoulders and arms covered, and pants or a knee length skirt. For men, typically no shorts are allowed. On High Holidays people mostly wear white because of the purity, renewal and cleansing aspects of the holiday. Jewish prayers rituals in the synagogue include a kipa (the common yamulka term is actually Yiddish) for men. No Jewish law requires a kipa but it's a cultural custom, and a form of respect as is removing a hat in presence of authority. Another common ritual during prayer is wearing a tallit with tzitzit. And there is a right and wrong way to wear it!

Photo courtesy of jewfaq.org

Photo courtesy of jewfaq.org

Normally, strict Orthodox men wear this, my boyfriend not being one of them. In fact, he hasn't stepped foot into a synagogue in years, only on some High Holidays according to him. The prayer on the tallit is the top and should be draped over your shoulders and not like a scarf. More info on biblical and cultural reasons for wearing this during prayer can be found at jewfaq.org.

Keva & Kavvanah

Lastly, we talked about Keva and Kavvanah. Keva is basically the routine of prayer. Keeping prayer constant is a way to practice, much like the old phrase "practice makes perfect". Kavvanah is basically the intention of meaningful prayer. Our Rabbi explained that some believer the danger with prayer is if you can't do something well; then you think you shouldn't do it at all. Jewish prayers are certainly more complicated than I can explain at this point. Some Rabbis believe there is a balance of keva and kavvanah to be had. Jewish prayers are routined (keva) with laws, fixed times, and fixed ways. However, the point of prayer is not to go through the motions, but to show inner devotion (kavvanah). One of the most popular interpreters of Jewish prayer is Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel. He wrote this on kavvanah:

"How grateful I am to God that there is a duty to worship, a law to remind my distraught mind that it is time to think of God, time to disregard my ego for at least a moment! It is such happiness to belong to an order of the divine will. I am not always in a mood to pray. I do not always have the vision and the strength to say a word in the presence of God. But when I am weak, it is the law that gives me strength; when my vision is dim, it is duty that gives me insight" (Man's Quest for God: Studies in Prayer and Symbolism, New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1954, pp. 64-68)."

My Beliefs on Shabbat Obligations

My Beliefs

Belief is actually quite a strong word for me, I don't have many spiritual or religious beliefs at this time. However, as we move through the historical holiday review and meanings behind rituals, I am surprisingly relating to a lot of it. It's weird that this is such a revelation for me.

I always seemed to think people of a certain faith had the exact same beliefs, meaning they were all idiots together. That is sounding ignorant now that I repeat it to myself, but it's the truth! It's one of the reasons I did not want to associate with anything. I didn't want to be grouped together with a bunch of religious wackos, I want to be me and make my own decisions. I never practiced any faith so I have no frame of reference. Although my boyfriend is not what he calls "religious"; he says he keeps tradition and I can see how engrained his Jewish identity is.

Holiday Review

Today we reviewed the holidays and discussed Shabbat in more detail. I'm feeling like I'm in a much deeper exploration phase now, and now the feelings of uncertainty about my beliefs are awakening again. I'm also thinking about how I'll assimilate into the religion.

I can easily relate to Rosh Hashanah as the New Year, as everyone else can because Americans are used to making New Year's resolutions. I realize it is definitely met with more seriousness about the quality of your life rather than making a resolution to quit smoking and giving up after a week. Resolutions aren't successful, but an obligation is. A resolution is defined as firm determination, or a course of action determined. An obligation is defined as a binding promise or sense of duty.

What's the difference here? The difference is between a want and a need. People try to commit to changes all the time, but the fail when they don't feel a psychological obligation to the commitment. Resolutions are not what define you, but obligations do; maybe that's why people are more prone to follow through with changes/choices in their lives when they are committed to their religious obligations.

Jewish Holidays

From what I've been told about the AJU conversion course, the core of the conservative conversion process is based on your knowledge of the holidays. I know of very few Jewish holidays and absolutely no knowledge of why they are holidays. We learned there are 3 cycles of holiday stories: the Jewish people's stories, the Jewish personal stories, and the Jewish holidays of history stories.

Jewish People's Stories

The Jewish people's stories are biblically centered around harvest days. These are the original holidays. Since there is no harvest in the winter, there is not an original winter holiday. You may be thinking Hanukkah, but it does not have anything to do with wintery Christmas stuff. Hanukkah is not a biblical holiday so it is under the history stories. The core of the Jewish people's stories are Passover (which I've heard of), Shavuot (never heard of it), and Sukkot (never heard of it).

Passover
Passover's theme is freedom and redemption from slavery. We are to remember that the world is capable of changing from bad to good, which is also a common theme for Shabbat and quite frankly throughout the religion as a whole.

Shavuot
Shavuot's theme comes from being released from slavery when the people received the Torah. This is when the Jewish people enter into the covenant with God, an agreement to live by the Torah (including the 10 commandments), and in return God will protect and reward the Jewish people with food and land. It was also interesting to find out that the Book of Ruth is read on this holiday because in a way all Jews were converts on this day; meaning they opted in to the covenant.

Sukkot
Sukkot is one of the 8-day holidays. This holiday's theme remembers the 40 years of wandering in the desert to find their Promised Land. Because of the 40 years of wandering without a home, the Jewish people were forced to build temporary "homes" while traveling. Sukkot is meant to celebrate the anti-materialistic world and appreciate the struggle made in order to get to where you want to be. It is also celebrating the ongoing commitment and faith of finding their new land. 

What Do Jewish People Look Like?

The week leading up to my third class was a pretty interesting one. Ever since I moved to the Valley (even before I moved) I knew there was a strong Jewish culture and presence. Naturally, it wasn't until I started to get more involved and take classes about Judaism that I began to encounter more of the Jewish experience. I started to realize people can be really surprised by what Jewish people look like (including the ones that convert).

So in this week's class it got us discussing, what exactly do Jews look like? We started the conversation with a video from Def Comedy Jam by the Hebrew Mamita. She explains how she meets a guy at a bar, he asks her out on a Tuesday, and she declines because it is Yom Kippur. He then tells her she doesn't look or act Jewish, and she just smiles. She gets angry and thinks, what exactly does a Jew look like and act like to you? Should she be acting like the quintessential Jew portrayed in movies? She gets angry because she thinks he is talking down to her and accusing her of NOT being a Jew, accusing her of not being a part of her people or her community.

Hebrew Mamita
It's a great video to watch. I'm not sure how old the video is. I didn't even know Def Poetry Jam was still active (if it is) when the video was uploaded in 2010.

So Really, What Do Jewish People Look Like? 

Obviously Jewish

Orthodox Jew. Photo by Danny Hammontree

Jewish Convert Acceptance

God and Comedy

I want to start off this post by making you feel comfortable and that's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus (just kidding). Not many things make me more uncomfortable than talking religions and God (or Jesus). So it's ironic that I'm spewing my Jewish conversion thoughts on the internet. Speaking of religions and God, today I was reminded of a Jim Gaffigan bit about Jesus that cracks me up and hits the nail on the head.

Jim Gaffigan on Jesus

Introduction to Judaism - Converting to Judaism

Today starts a new chapter not only in my personal life, but also in my blogosphere life. I am converting to Judaism and had my first conversion class today at the American Jewish University. We are encouraged to keep a log of our thoughts throughout the process. With that being said, my thoughts are going digital!

Introduction to Judaism Books

To Life! and A Short History of the Jewish People

  

These two books will be supplemental to my learning, among class lectures and other readings, for the next 18 classes.To Life: A Celebration of Jewish Being and Thinking is apparently quite a good easy read while A Short History of the Jewish People: From Legendary Times to Modern Statehood is dense and jam packed with history thus harder to read...grrr.